Who Spat In The Sugar Bowl?
by TearShield Alchemist
Summary: A Nejicentric that centers around Neji dreaming which he doesn't usually do. Poor Konoha, Neji's been into the crack again. Rated T for possible things that may or may not happen, to people that may or may not be there.


A/n: This story will not make any sense, so you have been warned…

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_**Who Spat In The Sugar Bowl?**_

The Real World

Neji wasn't won for dreams. No, not one, won.

Hinata could tell you that too.

He hated dreaming, sleeping, napping, dozing off, anything that involved taking time off from training.

Maybe that was why it was so weird to see him asleep.

What was even weirder was his dream.

No, maybe seeing him asleep might be weirder, ne?

Neji's Dreamland POV.

Neji sat on the floor of a room that mildly resembled a torture chamber. Sadly, there was no strangle bed, so he cried.

"We need to get a strangle bed," he decided, and went walking to find cardboard, which is what you make a strangle bed out of.

Then he realised they were all out of cardboard, for Asuma had used it to build a house for his Barbie dolls.

Tenten also stepped on his foot as he went looking for Asuma to get the cardboard back in order to make the strangle bed.

It had hurt, so he cried, even thought it happened over what seemed like hours ago.

The Real World

"I wounded his pride?" Tenten gasped, hearing Neji mumble things and start to cry in his sleep. Sleeping at training just wasn't his thing.

"The worst thing you can do to a man is damage his pride!" Gai shouted, gaily.

"Really?" Tenten was worried now.

"No," Rock Lee said, going against his sensei's teachings. "But you can try to…"

"Damage a man's pride?"

"No, damage a man…"

Neji's Dreamland POV.

The pretty pony waltzed passed Neji, and stuck a finger in its ear. Then it realised it didn't have fingers, and promptly fell into a bathtub full of man eating snails.

Neji felt funny as he skipped to another dream.

"WHACHOO TALKIN' 'BOUT WILLIS!?" Hinata screamed from over a cliff.

Shino screamed back. "I HATE PEOPLE WHO YELL!"

Neji tried to gather the meaning of that as he "dream-travelled" again.

The Real World

Kiba, Hinata and Shino walked wearily passed the sleeping Hyuuga prodigy, as though not to wake him up.

"WHACHOO TALKIN' 'BOUT WILLIS!" the sleeping form stood up, yelled rather piercingly into Kiba's ear and sat back down again, asleep.

Hinata blinked.

This would be a story she would absolutely have to tell Hanabi.

Neji's Dreamland POV.

And so Neji said the final thing the person next to him had yelled out.

"LICKETY SPLITTY DUCK SHIT!"

He then ran to steal Tenten's pants, before she fell of the leg(o)less donkey.

Thank god he only grabbed her panties.

The Real World

Naruto was on his back laughing. Sasuke was nursing his ear and Sakura was hiding behind Kakashi, who was also laughing.

This group decided to join the other groups in the trees to watch the Hyuuga boy sleep… And to see what other funny things happened.

Neji's Dreamland POV.

"I bought furby for my little daughter in Paris!" Itachi the mafia gang boss leader said, looking at Neji, who seemed to be dressed formally as a "little girl". He then wondered why Itachi wore high heels. Oh, that was because it was Chouji!

Silly Neji for thinking Itachi was Chouji!

"I'M SPARTICUS!" said Chouji as he flew away on wings made of cheese.

Neji jumped into the air and became naked.

"I AM THE WALRUS!"

The Real World

Kurenai froze still, at the sound of her name being called.

Asuma picked his nose in the corner of the bush in which he hid his Barbies.

Neji's Dreamland POV.

"Sasgay!" Naruto yelled though his cotton panties.

"Yes, Queeruto?" Sas-gay announced his arrival on a pink unicorn with an orange navel.

"Why is your navel orange?"

"I don't know…" "hmph"ed Sas-gay as he rode off into a shopping mall.

The Real World

Sakura spun around to be attacked by flying weasels, disguised as squirrels.

Neji's Dreamland POV.

Elmo had a gun; Barney was on fire… And Neji wondered which Naruto cast boy was gay whilst he picked his toes. All was well for an average day on The Fearful and the Ugly.

Neji's Dreamland

"Who gave Neji crack?" the medical porcupine who sounded like Tsunade galloped. Neji wasn't sure this porcupine was real, so he touched it and his head hurt, whcih made no possible sense, but it did happen.

The Real World

Neji awoke with a start to see bright lights in his eyes. He was strapped to a strangle bed as he heard the voices of Sas-gay and Queeruto lean in on him.

Sadly, since Neji couldn't tell the difference from dream and reality, he didn't know if he was gay or not.

Poor Neji, he should've followed that pretty pony…

"WHO SPAT IN THE SUAGR BOWL!"

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A/n: I the end of that, the real world and reality collided, so it made Neji not be able to tell the difference anymore… Poor Neji, maybe he should've got the gun, not Elmo! Please review!

TSA


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